Babylon Eyelids

Random loves and favorite things

You ever make a decision so quickly without looking deeper into it and truly knowing what you’re getting into and then, sure enough, you regret it?

Oh yes you’re so poetic because you throw a bunch of words together that don’t make sense.

Cute leggings I bought! And how photo effects seem to turn a regular ole fan into a starry hearted hipster pastel vomit mindfuck.

Moley Moley Moley!

Dream on dreamer, the Australian version of We Came as Romans. :)

Quiet Things That No One Ever Knows

Things that piss me off or depress me.

Saint Louis in general. With your shitty weather and not enough choices to do anything here. A conservative hellhole.

My job. How do you get promoted and yet lose money? I need a change.

Did i mention shitty weather? I hate cold.

Stupid guys and their half-assed attempts, one track minds, confusing gestures and just plain old childish stupidity.

Never having enough money. Like never. But no one else will hire me. So what the fuck can you do about that?

Being a recluse because YOU NEVER HAVE TIME OR MONEY FOR SHIT!

Being tired all the time and wanting to eat all the cheese and dairy without my insides kicking my ass. Why must you be this way!

All the shows/concerts i cant go to because I DON’T HAVE ANY FUCKING MONEY!

Wanting another job even though I’m “full time” and go to school but cant because of fear of my grades slipping.

Oh, and I’m hungry.

I don’t ever want to be a needy bitch, i try my hardest not to ask for any help unless the circumstances become pretty dire. This isn’t dire but fuck if it ain’t depressing. And to top it all off, What am i fucking going to school for? I had so many dreams. I REALLY want to be a writer. But I REALLY want to study geography and health sciences. Even though i smoke like a fucking chimney and every now and then drink to excess. I don’t even know why I chose the degree im going for. I just wanted to go to fucking college. It’s not like this job I have now is helping me better myself in any way. Because I fucking hate it.

      I’m not going to be a negative nancy all the time though. And i should work on not being such a drag. I guess i should work on the perma scowl that i seem to have painted on my face everyday also. There are things that do make me happy. Although a foot of snow in spring is not fucking one of them! There’s just some things that i need to figure out about myself before I can gain my one true moment of clarity. Until then, fuck Saint Louis. And fuck the never ending financial hole im in. But i’ve got my friends, family, music, and over analytical mind to keep me in check for now.

Vent

I’ve come to the conclusion that i am pretty much a loner. And as depressing as that sounds, I’m okay with it. I mean i do have friends and i care for them deeply and they know who they are, but when it all comes down to it, id rather be by myself. Maybe it’s because of how i was raised? Or maybe it’s because sometimes I just can’t fucking stand people. I guess working in retail has done this to me? I see so many fucking idiots and ignorant assholes on a day to day basis that i feel there’s no use in even trying to make new friends. Because everyone nowadays seems to have some kind of hidden agenda. Or I’m just so far out of the modern spectrum of thinking that it’s pretty much useless to even try. Maybe I’m just sick and tired of this trashy state I live in. Maybe i have no fucking idea what im fucking talking about and just need to go to bed.

Guys

Dont know if i should hug yall or beat you upside the head with a balloon screaming “Fucking make up your mind!”

And i need to see Brand New live once in my lifetime so i can yell Bought a Bride until i can’t feel my lungs..ever! For like 15 minutes at least.